Self-Compassion

Navigating Diet Talk and Body Image Concerns During the Holiday Season

The holiday season is a time for celebration and relaxation. It's a time to gather with people we care about, and hopefully also a time for some rest. However this can also be a time when diet culture ramps up, creating pressure in the warmer weather to focus on our ‘bikini body’, attending events which are usually centered around food and eating, and the impending wellness focus of New Year's resolutions – all of which can make the holiday period a minefield of diet talk and body image distress.

In this article, we'll explore strategies to help you navigate the challenges of diet talk and body image concerns during the holidays. Different factors such as your environment, relationships, personal history, and comfort levels can influence which strategies are most effective for you – so think about how you can personalise this information for your own circumstances.

Setting Boundaries

Where possible it can be helpful to set some boundaries prior to an event. Depending on your relationship with the people involved and your comfort level, it might be possible to let people know how they can support you – maybe you could communicate these boundaries in person or via text. Some examples could include:

  • ‘I'd appreciate it if we don't talk about 'good' vs. 'bad' foods’

  • ‘It would be really helpful if we could avoid any discussions of weight during the holidays’

  • ‘I really want to have fun with you over New Years, which will be a lot easier for me if we don’t talk about diets’

  • ‘It’s important for my recovery that we don’t talk about ‘working off’ Christmas dinner’

Responding to Body or Diet Talk

Despite setting boundaries, it’s possible that instances of unhelpful diet or body talk could still arise. In these situations, it can be helpful to have some practiced strategies for responding. Here are some ideas:

  • Remove yourself: Remember it's okay to leave the conversation or the situation. Excuse yourself for a bathroom break or step outside for some fresh air

  • Redirect the conversation: Change the topic to something more neutral or comfortable to steer the conversation away from diet talk

  • Express discomfort: Be honest about your feelings, eg. ‘I'm not comfortable with this conversation’

  • Question the body talk: Gently question the person engaging in body talk, eg. ‘I've noticed you make a lot of comments about good and bad foods. For me, this contributed to a really unhealthy relationship with food’

  • Plant Seeds: eg. ‘I've found it helpful to learn more about my relationship with my body, if you're interested, I can send you some podcast or book recommendations’

  • Direct Response: In some cases, you may need to be more direct and assertive, eg. ‘I'm not engaging in diet talk’

Focus on What You Can Control

Despite our best attempts, we have limited control over other people’s body and diet talk, and we may not always feel comfortable or have the capacity to challenge them. In these situations, focus on what you can control:

  • Remind yourself of your personal journey: Tell yourself that you’re on the path to recovery and that it's important to prioritise your wellbeing

  • Practice empathy: If it feels safe, try to empathise with those around you who might be caught up in diet culture, and be dealing with their own food and body image concerns

  • Focus on positives: Concentrate on positive aspects of yourself, list three things you're proud of accomplishing

  • Consider the source: Reflect on the source of comments and ask yourself whether it's helpful to place much value on their perspective

  • Use mindfulness techniques: To let go of unhelpful thoughts, such as mentally saying, ‘I'm having the thought that...’

  • Practice self-compassion: Engage in self-compassionate thoughts and soothing activities after challenging interactions

Ultimately, prioritise your wellbeing, and before you know it the holidays will have passed – hopefully without too much stress or challenge along the way. Be sure to schedule in some of your favourite activities, and spend time with the people who you know are good for your spirits.

Self-Care in the Festive Season

The festive season can be a particularly challenging time for people with food and body image concerns. Factors like warmer weather, summer activities, social eating, weight loss marketing and diet talk can all mean that these anxieties are at the forefront of our minds. Here are some of our tips for supporting yourself during this time.

Be a critical consumer - You’ve probably noticed that diet ads are everywhere right now - even more than usual! Remember no matter how ‘new and improved’ these diets claim to be, diets don’t work, and in fact they can cause significant harm to our physical and mental health. Remember these weight loss diet companies are part of a multi-billion dollar industry which profits from making us feel dissatisfied with our bodies. It’s a powerfully radical act to say no to diets and yes to self-care.

Be mindful of diet talk - You might notice those around you talking about dieting and weight loss more at this time of year. There are many ways you could choose to approach this, depending on your relationship with the person and your energy at the time. You might let people know you’d prefer not to discuss food and body size, and share your knowledge about the harms of weight-loss dieting. Or you could decide to use the helpful strategy of distraction to divert the conversation to another topic. At other times you might subtly (or overtly) excuse yourself and take some time away from the conversation, it might be the perfect opportunity for a bathroom break.

Take care of yourself when social eating - Try to avoid the urge to restrict food in anticipation of, or after eating a meal which might be larger or more challenging than foods you usually eat. Maintaining regular eating can help to regulate appetite and not set yourself up with all or nothing thoughts and eating behaviours. During social meals try to focus on conversation and connection with others to distract you from distressing food thoughts. If there are particular foods you’re expecting to be challenged by, your therapy team can help you practice exposure to these foods ahead of time in a safe environment.

Engage your support system - Let your support people know this could be a more challenging time, and explore how they can help. This could be creating supportive meal environments, encouraging you to eat regularly, or being available to talk through your challenges. Making regular appointments with your therapy team can also help to hold you steady. You could also explore and engage with non-diet, recovery focused content, see the ideas on our Inspiring Links page

Be kind to yourself - It’s understandable that this can be a difficult time, with many potential challenges and triggers. Do your best to practice self-compassion, and remember that this period will pass. Also remember to look for and really pay attention to the joyful moments - even if they’re brief, don’t let them pass by without your full attention.

(Here’s our Director Janet’s dogs sharing a joyful moment last Christmas!).

 
Dogs with Santa
 

What is the Non-Diet Approach?

What is the Non-Diet Approach?

The term ’non-diet’ is one you will often see used by health professionals and advocates who encourage approaches to health and wellbeing that are contrary to popular messages promoting restrictive weight loss diets.

Many of the team at Mind Body Well were fortunate to be introduced to the non-diet world by Dr Rick Kausman, author of ‘If Not Dieting Then What?’ and one of the pioneers of the non-diet movement. The title of Rick’s book sums up well what many of our clients are asking…. “I’ve tried restrictive weight loss diets and they haven’t worked for me, so what now?”

Dear Self Critic, I'm breaking up with you...

Dear Self Critic, I'm breaking up with you...

I’m breaking up with you because you’re mean.

Sometimes you’re so nasty that you won’t even let me carry out a conversation with my friends. All I hear is your voice telling me I’m stupid, ugly, they don’t like me, they wish I wasn’t here.

You do that. You get in the way when I try to talk to people, and you’re always telling my I’m no good. You erode my confidence and steal my joy.

How's Your Self-Compassion?

How's Your Self-Compassion?

I was shopping at my local Farmers Market last week when I saw a woman near me juggling her bags of shopping.  Given she only had two hands and a lot of bags this was quite a task!  She picked up the eggs she’d just bought, fumbled and then dropped the carton onto the ground, spilling eggs over the grass and cracking a few.  I went to help her and what do you think was the first thing she said?

“Oh, I’m such an idiot!”

I helped her clean up the eggs and said something about how I often think I can carry more than I can.